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One approaches any treatment that promises the effects of a colonic irrigation with some trepidation, even if, in the case of Chi Nei T’sang, this is done simply by abdominal massage, rather than the usual way, with hosepipes.

So it is a relief to find that Rob Williamson is an easy-going friendly sort of practitioner, not some scary character intent on wringing one’s internal organs into submission. Rob’s training in “combined oriental medicine” includes spells in China, and he has a range of techniques, from yoga to acupuncture, at his disposal, so the treatment isn’t just massage.

Rob started with a bell-button reading (it was pointing the wrong way, but he soon put it right) and moved on with a little kinesiology to identify the weak areas in the body.

This involved me holding up an arm or a leg while he tried to push it down; I’ve always thought this is a load of rubbish, but sometimes the limbs collapsed and sometimes they stayed firm, which I can’t begin to explain. The massage itself isn’t exactly painful, just … interesting. Thanks to a stomach bug, I hadn’t eaten for 36 hours beforehand, but there was still some contented gurgling.

Rob prodded my stomach gently in a Union-Jack pattern starting from the belly button, working to clear the small intestine, the large intestine, and then “realigning” other organs massaging my sides. He finished with some cranial work and shiatsu techniques to counteract my teeth-grinding habit, and I left deeply relaxed, but rather emotional. I’m now waiting for the fireworks.

Alice Hart-Davies